Dissatisfied with their narrow city flat, Mrs. Citiman tells her husband that they are taking a small house in the country. He is unenthusiastic, but she insists, and that settles that. After a long ride and a muddy walk, they reach the "...See moreDissatisfied with their narrow city flat, Mrs. Citiman tells her husband that they are taking a small house in the country. He is unenthusiastic, but she insists, and that settles that. After a long ride and a muddy walk, they reach the "house." It looks more like a relic, but Mrs. Citiman thinks it is all very "rustic" and they take it. On their way back to the station, the floor of the ancient wagon they're riding in gives way and, stuck fast by the waist, he is obliged to run through the mud. When they move, he gets into more trouble, breaks things, and has the worst time trying to paper the walls. His wife finds him hanging to the chandelier, which he grasps as the ladder goes over. The fastenings part and down comes Citiman in a shower of plaster and brasswork. He then tries plumbing. Unfortunately, he connects up the gas pipe with the water pipe. Mr. Citiman turns on the inverted gas light and is drenched with a powerful stream of water. Her husband in the bathroom turns on the faucets in the tub with apparently no results. He lights a match to investigate and both faucets burst into flame. Immediately afterwards there is a tremendous explosion, and Mr. and Mrs. Citiman describe a parabola out onto the front lawn. The house is burning furiously. Citiman saying to himself, "The furniture is insured. I should worry." With a sly wink he clasps his hysterical wife to his bosom while their "beautiful suburban home" burns to the ground. Written by
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